Day 43

Ok, it’s 10:30pm, I’m in the midst of packing, and have NO time, so this is going to be as brief as possible. The problem with that is that I am incredibly long winded and say much about nothing, like now, it’s taken me three lines to say, “this needs to be short”.

1) Thank you to all my friends who stood up for me. Specifically, Heather S, Darren S, Chad S, and of course Mark W. You told her but good. I honestly meant the apology, if you don’t know me, it’s some pretty venomous remarks, but I didn’t use her name, none of you know her, and it wasn’t intended for her to see. At any rate, I do feel badly, but it was all in good fun, so c’est la vie.

2) My cramps are Biblical today. Just an endless onslaught of sharp pains and jabs. I must be getting my period.

3) I got a Port Reitz matatu AGAIN today. Why is it that things don’t work out the way you want until the end? Never did I get one, now I’ve got Port Reitz matatus falling out of my ass (which is nice change from the atomic bombs that have been coming out). The matatu had a dozen live chicks on it that chirped the whole way. It was very surreal. Just like in the movies when there’s a chicken running around on a bus, this one had live chicks on it. It was also, sadly, filled with women taking their babies to Port Reitz hospital and after the 47th person got on the 14 passenger vehicle, I got off and walked the remainder of the way so that all these women wouldn’t have to stand hunched over holding their sick babies. Ya, I walked so women and babies could be comfortable, so put that in your pipe and smoke it Idiot.

4) Today at lunch I was informed by 5 year old Brian that last night in his prayers he prayed for my tummy to get better. I nearly lost it!!! He’s one of my absolute favorites. I love them all so much, but if I had to choose one to bring back to America he’d be at the top of the list. And this was well before he prayed for my tummy. He’s the little faggy one. SOOOOOOO cute and sweet. Then, when I told Dorcas that everyone could have TWO sweets today (I’ve been bringing sweets for “desert” after lunch, just another feeble attempt to “buy their love” and nothing to do with the fact that I want them to be happy and enjoy simple things that they never get, like candy), anyway, I told Dorcas she could have two and her eyes grew wide and she looked me dead in the face and said “God bless you Nima”. GOD BLESS YOU NIMA!!! I shit you not. I’ve never been God Blessed before (sneezing aside) and certainly never for candy. So I was prayed for and blessed on my second to last day.

5) As if watching kids pick a piece of candy out of a dish wasn’t hysterical enough, watching kids pick two pieces of candy out of a dish that has an assortment of candies in it is hysterical. You’d think they were trying to pick which brand of lube to purchase! The careful consideration, the weighing, the sweetness factor, the color comparison, the taste comparison, I mean so much goes into deciding which lubricant to purchase. The kids used almost as many factors to decide which candies to take.

6) Another hysterical thing, watching young ones wake up from an afternoon nap. They come out of bed all groggy eyed and look around as though the world is TOTALLY different than it was 2 hours ago. It takes them like 20 minutes to fully wake up and they always have this wrinkly forehead/squinty eyed thing going on. Priceless.

7) This may be my last post til I get to Schipol airport. I know, I know, that’s almost two days away! Pop a few Xanax to tide you over til then.

Ok, must go finish packing and burning CDs for the wee ones. I’ve moved away from gay disco and Madonna. I am now focusing on Beyonce, Pussycat Dolls, and Britney.

P.S. Courtney V, I’m sorry but “Charmed” is the worst show ever. I watched an episode over dinner tonite. Between the bad acting, bad dialogue, and bad special effects, I thought I was watching a porno that never came to completion. Why the hell do you like it so much? (Wow, I really am a bad person. I just outted someone as a “Charmed” fan, how embarrassing for her)