Day 36

As you know, picture day is stressful so the posting is going to be short.

I woke up at 1:00am last night because I realized (in my sleep) that I started taking Benadryl last week for my allergies and that anti-histamines have a history of making people groggy. I remembered I had two emergency Clartin-Ds in my backpack and took one today as an experiment. Sure as shit, I was 100% back to my normal, not exhausted, an-utter-delight-to-see-and-hear self. Huzzah!

C.U.N.T. is being promoted back to Clueless for a few reasons. One, she's been trying really hard this week. Two, C.U.N.T. is just a really harsh nickname for her, I mean even if she sucks, she did sign up to volunteer in Africa so there's got to be some credit given for that, furthermore, it's not like she's a bad person, she just kinda sucks, so after careful consideration, I'm changing her name back to Clueless.

I bleached the living hell out of the children's bathroom today. I normally bleach and wash everything, but today I like scrubbed the literal shit out of it. It should be sanitary for about 20 minutes.

When I arrived at Dicksons, before I even got my backpack off I had to change a pair of piss stained pants, find a pair of shoes, and carry a crying baby. Despite all this, I'm getting REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY ridiculously depressed. I am not ready to leave my kids (even though I'm ready to leave Kenya). If I could, I think I would stay longer. It's hell here, but my kids make hell seem like a day at the beach.

I used a ton of Swahili today. Much to my surprise I can communicate with non-English speakers and am understood. Admittedly my Swahili is so broke it makes Bobby Brown look like a billionaire, but the point remains that I communicated, made purchases, and told several people "Mi mi si mzungu", which means "I'm not a white person". =)

I swear God designed my kids just for me. They like gay music. They love my arms. They love my hair. They can't get enough of me. And today Apina was staring at me while we were talking and said "Your teeth are so white". I looooooooooooooove it!

A guy on the street said "Buy me a soda" I said "No" he said "Aren't we friends" and I said "If we're friends why don't YOU buy ME a soda". He just looked at me and walked away.

I was so thirsty on the matatu coming home and I remembered I had a juice box in my backpack. I found it only to see that the straw was missing. I punctured the juice box with a pen and sucked the juice out of a pen tip sized hole like an infant sucking a teat.

Finally, you know how every day I hit a new low? No matter how vile and disgusting and retching the day before was, the following day seems to bring something even more heinous, more unmentionable, more perverse than one ever thought humanly possible? Well today was even worse than the Mwangi/Diarrhea debacle of Day 34. Today, despite all my attempts to keep some modicum of dignity while in Kenya, the unspeakable happened. I watched Home Alone 3.